Godfrey's Guide

what follows is what I would like to call: Shedding  new light on a topic revisited through the art of imagination and a dose or two of reality:


MY IMAGINARY GLIMPSES INTO THE MINDS OF SLIMY DICTATORS, EVIL POLITICIANS.....
AND STUPID SCOUNDRELS WHO I WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE TO YOU IN WHAT YOU are about to read is because folks like this have always piqued my interest.  I am aware that when I begin by saying that the world needs more evil guys, you may think this is a bit odd. So allow me to clarify by telling you why.  It's really rather simple.  What I would like us to do is to take a tap dance into their soiled minds in order that we do not become who they became.  The more, the better.  We really won't be dealing with much brain power here.  I'm talking about a rather immature study of those intense, unalloyed, concentrated, power-hungry men like Mitch McConnell and Dick Cheney, as well as other men and one woman, who seem to get their edge back when it comes to obtaining more power for themselves.  What I want us to do first is to shut our collective eyes for a moment,  use our imaginations, in order for you to see what I mean:  You will be taking a little walk with me in their shoes by pretending that we have become someone just like they are.  In this make-believe scenario, we will have collectively become a Korean guy with freckles and a big hook nose in order to confuse anyone who may ask who it is that we actually are;  one who allows himself to be almost beaten to a pulp in prison by other inmates for exposing himself while he stands in the mess hall line.  We  have now become men who are willing to risk it all, to go full-steam-ahead, just to prove that we actually are the biggest Dick in the Joint.    

   Then we rapidly move forward to other idiotic assholes who would do something like that, but may be more fun to be around.  Sometimes, when I'm laying around on my sofa and pondering recent history  and looking back at evil-doers of not so long ago, I begin to wonder if Hitler were still alive would he be more objectionable than Dick Cheney and Mitch McConnell are?  And then asking myself if they had been living in the same time and place that Hitler was, what the difference between the three of them might have been?  My  bet would be: Not much; and I can't help but smile at the thought which comes next, when I begin to imagine what Dick and Mitch might have done if they had been mistakenly arrested by the Gestapo, falsely been accused of being Jewish,  sent to a camp called Dachau, spotted the ovens that they are about to be pushed into, then began  screaming to high-heaven We're not Jews! You stupid Kraut son of a bitch!  We're Republicans!  And finally say Holy Shit!  when they begin to realize what is about to happen to them.  And my bet on that one would be this:  That they  would no longer be the big fans of Adolph that they once may have been...
  


   ...Now here is where a fun read really begins: I can almost conjure up a vision of what a letter to donors from these three psychopaths back when they were still bosom-buddies may have been.  I think it may have read like this: Dear Friend:  Let us begin by saying that this letter is intended to be read by Caucasians only, and your name has been provided to us by various White Supremacists Groups around the country and terrorists around the world, who we keep in touch-with on an almost daily basis.   Through them, we have discovered that you too are a hard-driving  person with a truly big ego and if you will pardon our saying so, we only know this from personal experience of course, but most likely a man with rather small penis, as well.  One who continues to require even larger amounts of money to satisfy your ego and are far too busy to attend to this sort of direct appeal for yourself.  Therefore we must ask if you might take a moment two to think about the three of us.  We are also rich and powerful and need your financial support to have even greater influence over national discourse and world events, and of course, over your own life, as well.  In the initial stage, your money would be needed for basics: stationary, office supplies, phones and rent.   If everything runs as smoothly as we hope it will, after that, we all will have enough money in order to provide all of us even more of our favorites: Like expensive clothing, imported cars, fine jewelry, gourmet foods and exotic women as well as delicious men that guys like us need and deserve.  Not to mention how delightful it will be to have nuclear devices and interment camps within easy reach, just in case others do not see it our way.  You will take satisfaction knowing you have done your part.  Please make your check payable to  The Joseph Megele Memorial Fund: In Care of  Mitch and Dick and a Fellow We Call A, but if the address below is too long to scratch out all of our names attached to it,  just write down the name of the memorial fund and address it: For Dick's Eyes-Only; and don't worry, all three of us have been called that at one-time-or-another.  Your check will be your receipt and will be coming to you from a bank somewhere offshore.   


   John McCain is another annoying guy who is almost as fun to castigate and deride as Dick and Mitch were, but was apparently not available when the letter above was written.  John is the former war prisoner hero turned into a grunting grouch, one who has had himself quite a few ups-and-downs in his political career.  I will attempt to avoid terms like mentally disturbed and emotionally impaired when describing him.  My preference would be: The Bag Man for War, in that he never yet seems to have found one that he absolutely doesn't adore.  He has devolved into becoming a bag man, even more evasive and crazed after having lost a presidential election to a black man, but retains enough sanity to spin his words in politically correct language.  Although he still appears to be somewhat rational: His desire is, of course, to have the delivery of what he has in mind upon innocent men and women and children, done  by remote-control devices so he won't get his own hands dirty.  In my opinion the closest we are ever going to get to a good descriptive name for a lovable guy like this is: Grimy Old Goat.


   Let's face it, that's what a lot of these people on the political Right are, you know.  When I think of a Ted Cruz, for example, the words that immediately come to mind are: loony, insane, egotistical, and nuts!  Perhaps you will think I'm a bit loony  too when I express that for the most part, I believe that he actually may be the illegitimate son of an unshaven and somewhat other infamous fellow whose cheese also fell off his cracker a long time ago due to the the daily use of alcohol and possibly compulsive masturbation, who thought that symbols of plenty meant putting what he called Commie's  in jail, and that would be:  Senator Joseph McCarthy, the Communist hunter from Wisconsin. When I think of either one of them, I immediately want to find a way to quickly sanitize my brain.


  Here's the oddest of the odd in the lunatic bunch:  Louie Gohmert, the run-of-the-mill alarmist Congressman from Texas with the looks of a Court Jester and the mind of a garbanzo bean, who apparently lives out where the buses don't run, and is quoted as once having said: I will not allow the Attorney General to cast aspersions on my asparagus!  and defends almost all of his erratic positions with other non-sequitur's like: Gun control will lead to bestiality! and Jesus hates taxes! And then is ignorant enough to spew these words, ones which perhaps only a rural Texan might understand: Caribou would enjoy the warmth of an oil pipeline, whatever in the Hell that is supposed to mean!  His history may still be open: But it is obvious to most of us that he doesn't yet have both feet in the end zone.


   We will now pause for a moment to step-down a bit, almost to the bottom-of-the-barrel of the powerful and corrupt to a lady who obviously has less than a full bag of marbles for a brain, and whose squeegee doesn't even begin to go to the bottom of the proverbial bucket.  She happens to be from the State of Alaska, and her name Sarah Palin, who is commonly referred to as The Tea Party Tinker Bell.  Sarah is a gal who spends her time sitting around thinking about brainless stuff to say just before she steps to the podium with a slick smile on her face, as if each smile were a significant achievement, which for her, it probably is.  In my opinion, poor Sarah has never had enough steam to squeeze her brain around into where she can spew-forth a logical sentence.  It's as if she is still sitting back in grade school, smiling blankly up at the male teacher who she may or may not want to boff, as she's rolling a half-dried piece of snot between her her thumb and forefinger hoping to think of something to say just before she strolls up to the podium, clears her throat, then barfs partially digested facts like when she once said that she could almost see Russia from her house, which she expects us to believe, like we were kids waiting for another lemon drop.  When the only thing that we are really hearing are: Verbal farts.


   And before we wind-up our tour into the land of the untrustworthy and dishonest, I just want to remind you that we are the ones who elected them.  And if you're going to have an irreverent description of these men and lone woman, it would not be they  belong in insane asylums, mental institutions, or psychiatric facilities.  That is not the descriptive language for folks like this.  What is more appropriate is and a personal favorite of mine would be: The Disenchanted Kingdom for the Evil and Somewhat Slow Minded or The Twinkymobile for the Truly Inane...